FAQ
The Same Questions, now as a Website!
Believe it or not, I do read my mail. I just don’t write back. Not because I don’t like you, but because I have better things to do. Like getting drunk. That’s pretty important. And fruit rollups. The strawberry kind.
So collected here are a bunch of answers to commonly asked questions and a few that I threw in because I have nothing else better to do.
Q: Are you a Goth?
A: I don’t know where people get this crap, but no.
Q: You’re an idiot!
A: That’s not a question, but at least I’m not wasting my time emailing people who I think are stupid.
Q: Why do you hate Christians?
A: I don’t. I have several Christian friends, and we get along very well. I hate radicals, fundamentalists and lime sherbet.
Q: What Religion are you anyway?
A: I am Militant Agnostic.
Q: What is Militant Agnostic?
A: Agnostic means that I don’t know if there’s a god. Militant Agnostic means that I don’t know if there’s a god, and you don’t either.
Q: You seem to be more of an Atheist, what’s up with that?
A: If the war ever comes, I’m siding with the Atheists, that’s it.
A: Like this.
Q: What would this FAQ look like if Jeopardy ruled the world?
Q: Do you play a lot of games?
A: Yes and no. I collect games, as well as other things like hundred dollar bills and blow jobs. Feel free to help me collect any of those. Click Here to see a list and stand in awe, or sit, whatever.
Q: Why would I want to visit your site?
A: Because you’re not getting your daily allowance of face rocking. Plus, extensive studies with a tube sock and a wombat show that my website can help cure cancer.
Q: What is your deal?
A: No Money Down, and 0%APR for the first 6 months.
Q: Okay, so I’ve read your whole site and I haven’t laughed once, why?
A: At birth your parents had your humor gland removed. You should probably kill them.
Q: I did that and your website still isn’t funny.
A: It isn’t supposed to be funny. Everything that is on my page is true and anyone that disagrees with me is going to hell.*
*special thanks to Christians for letting me borrow their religious dogma.
Q: I’m deeply offended by your site please take it down!
A: I’m offended by puke, but to remedy this I just go somewhere else. Which is what you should do.
Q: Will you add more to this list?
A: I have and will, if need be.
Have a burning question for cj? Sure, we all do! Email cj@cjdaweasel.com and maybe he’ll grace this page with an answer.